A query letter that worked on editors and agents.

Greetings,

This is a query letter I wrote for my YA novel. It got solicitations for 4 partials and 3 fulls from editors and agents. It's a cross between a screenplay pitch letter and a common query for novels. It starts with a log-line and expresses the beginning, middle and end while revealing the stakes the characters must face. I didn't list any of my writing credits because it burdens the length and people, especially editors, don't have the time. A query is hook and not a full synopsis or your life story... Just figured I'd share.  

...

Dear Mr./Ms.________

Lives and dreams can be cut short by death, but the biggest tragedy for those who survive is not taking advantage of second chances.

In the paranormal YA novel The Cell, seventeen year old Les Logan is an aspiring comic book artist who begins to doubt himself after Aki Kubo, his friend and creative partner, dies in an accident in which Les is involved. From beyond the grave, Aki contacts Les through a cell phone and tells him there’s a problem. Aki can’t cross over because a girl named Rachel is wasting her second chance at life after receiving his donated liver. Les must help her so Aki can move on to the afterlife.   

There are a few big problems: one, if Rachel doesn’t move on with her life soon Aki’s spirit will disintegrate. Two, there’s a limited amount of time and they can only communicate via cell phone. Three, Les hasn’t driven since Aki’s accident. And finally, a devious scientist named Professor Gluck finds out about Aki and wants to capture the ghost in the cell phone so to prove his theories about the paranormal. He gives Les a job so he can keep an eye on him and set a trap for Aki.

Les enlists the aid of his two off-beat friends and sets out to discover a way to save Rachel but encounters with Professor Gluck stand in his way. When these friends believe in each other, and do what they think is right, not even a mad scientist can stop them from saving the living as well as the dead. In essence, this is a rescue tale. Les must rescue Rachel but by doing so he also rescues Aki and his own dreams for the future.

A partial or full manuscript can be sent upon request. Thank you for your precious time. I look forward to the reply regarding a possible submission.

Respectfully,

Joshua Lee Andrew Jones

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BTW, I'm still waiting on replies. But, if you know of any editors who might be interested let me know.

Cheers! 

@JLAJones